It’s a sad truth that the majority of people in the United States have been cheated on at some point by a partner. In fact, infidelity statistics show that 75% of people have cheated, mostly in the 45-54 age range, and 60% of those asked did so with married men. The finer details of this study are fascinating, and you have to wonder what’s going on in Texas. For now, let’s focus on the reasons/excuses given for infidelity. The following points come from part of this study and rank from the lowest rating to the highest.
The Ideal 7 Reasons People Cheat
Temptation
Only 2.1% of respondents gave this answer, and that’s not a bad thing. It’s a cop-out statement to say that someone else simply tempted them away and led them to cheat. These cheaters can lean on their compulsion to satisfy a sexual desire without looking at the deeper reasons for infidelity. If they took the time to think about their answer, they might actually choose one of the following.
Lack of commitment
5.1% of people asked in these iLuvSugar studies put a lack of commitment. This is one of the more blunt answers and one that is understandable. In some cases, it will be a lack of commitment to a casual partner that sees them seeking experiences with other people. Unless couples are exclusive, these cheaters feel justified. For others, it will be more a case of a fear of commitment. A relationship that starts getting serious freaks them out, and they run to someone else.
Lack of communication
A lack of communication is a common reason for breakups, with couples no longer able to talk out their issues or stay on the same page.
In some cases, where couples aren’t ready to call it a day, this can result in cheating. 6.1% of responders put this as their reasoning. Some wild experiences a lack of communication through a clash in love languages. It can be frustrating not being in tune this way but also uplifting finding someone that is. This could be through a shared understanding of the need for physical affection, gifts, or verbal affirmations. Then there’s the more literal lack of communication. When couples start drifting apart, they can find it easier to talk to others within a social circle. Before long, this can result in emotional affairs with friends or partners of friends. This makes sense if most affairs do indeed come from social situations rather than random encounters at bars and clubs.
Desiring novelty
6.6% of people ticked this box and were brutally honest about their reasons for cheating. Sometimes, cheaters aren’t out looking for an emotional connection with someone, or to start an ongoing affair. Cheating can be a one-time casual thing with no strings attached. It’s a chance to break a pattern and experience something new without ending a committed relationship. This can prove therapeutic for those who would love to be in an open marriage and who get bored with the idea of complete monogamy. The problem is that it’s not so beneficial for their long-term partner if they aren’t aware or consenting.
Relationship dissatisfaction
With 11.6% of responders highlighting this issue, it’s still a big concern for couples. Cheaters simply feel that the relationship isn’t providing what they were looking for or that there’s been a negative shift. This can include problems with a relationship balance. Couples see this in parent-child style relationships where one is the primary caregiver and takes care of all the major responsibilities. An affair offers an escape from that scenario into a new relationship with a more equal level of respect. As with the long language issue, perhaps it’s a form of equality that allows for greater affection, validation, and self-worth.
Emotional dissatisfaction
This one got a lot more responses than the factors we’ve already discussed, with 33.1% of responders highlighting this. There isn’t too much to say here that can’t be said in the final point. Interestingly, emotional dissatisfaction ranks higher than relationship dissatisfaction, as this suggests cheaters are putting more emphasis on their own issues than their partners.
But, how many claim emotional dissatisfaction when the answer is actually the factor that came out on top?
Personal insecurities
This was the highest figure in these infidelity statistics, with 35.5%. There may be a crossover between personal insecurities and emotional dissatisfaction. Acknowledging personal insecurities takes a lot more introspection and honesty. It shows a willingness to see one’s own flaws and how those affected their subsequent behavior. Either way, it’s a very influential factor. Those that cheat may feel insecurities over their physical appearance, due to a lack of intimacy or low levels of physical attraction between them and their partner. The majority of cheaters were over 40, so perhaps some are experiencing a form of mid-life crisis of confidence due to the aging process and a lack of validation from their partner. Attention from younger men or a married man flirting with them could be a massive trigger. The same goes for general self-esteem issues stemming from poor self-confidence or feelings of inferiority. If there is a dependence on others for validation, that can easily lead to cheating. Maybe that’s why we see so many affairs with bosses?
Do These Results Ring True?
If you’ve been cheated on, were the one doing the cheating, or both, these infidelity statistics may not be that surprising. You can probably pinpoint contributing factors that perhaps highlight problems with your relationship. Maybe it was a blunt desire for a new thrill that led them astray, or maybe there was a deeper lack of communication or validation. The point is that when couples take the time to get deep and honest about the reasons for cheating, it can shine a light on some interesting behavior patterns. There might not be anything you can do to save a relationship after cheating. Or maybe this level of openness and a willingness to fix things could keep you both together. See what you can do better and learn from these cheating situations.