Dating a cool new person you’re really into is one of the greatest experienced in life. It’s also one of the most important and tricky experiences to navigate, however, as a single mistake can sometimes ruin something that could have been an awesome long-term relationship.
We’re not mentioning this to stress you out, however. Instead, we’d rather go through a few pointers people often forget that we think are essential tips everyone should know as they are navigating new relationships.
1. Have A Talk About The Future
The “talk about the future” is a moment many fear in a new relationship. That’s understandable, as we often want to keep the early days in a relationship “casual and fun” even when there is an expectation of things going all the way.
Yet, talking about the future doesn’t necessarily need to make things serious right away – it’s just a talk, after all. Once you have talked things out, the relationship can continue being “casual and fun” for as long as you want it to be. In fact, that is exactly why you want to discuss the future early on – so that you both know what you want and expect from the relationship, how you want it to progress, and in what direction you want it to go.
Without talking about these things early on, you run the risk of either going through the relationship in not quite the ideal way for you (at best) or committing to a relationship that’s doomed from the start because the two of you want drastically different things (at worst).
2. Get To Know Each Other’s Friends Early On
Another frequent mistake many people make is keeping their relationship only to themselves at first. This also feels logical initially, as you want to show off your new partner to others only if and when you’re sure they are someone special. If the relationship is still very new and you’re not certain it’s going to progress, why introduce them to your friends?
Well, the reason is simple – so that your friends can get a feel for them and give you some feedback. What’s even more important, however, is that you see your partner’s friend group too. This way, you can get a more objective feel for what kind of person your new partner is through their friends.
3. Don’t Postpone Or Skip The Sex Talk
The “sex talk” is just as important as the talk about the future, but it’s also often skipped. Yes, it can be awkward in a new relationship, especially if you haven’t had sex yet. However, that’s precisely when you should do it.
The sex talk should include basic things ranging from sexual health (STDs testing, history, etc.) to sexual preferences. This is essential not only to help make your sex better and safer, but also because one of the key red flags to watch out for in any new relationship is a lack of openness about such things.
4. Keep The Important Conversation For In-Person Dates
Online dating apps are awesome for helping you get to know someone before you commit to an in-person date. Before you even start chatting with the person, you can often already have plenty of information about them. How they look, how old they are, what their hobbies are, etc. Did you meet them on trans dating apps, for example? Then they are either trans or looking for a relationship with a trans person.
However, there are things you should leave for face-to-face conversations. Non-verbal communication is key, after all, so it’s good if you can rely on it while discussing important topics.
5. While Learning From Past Mistakes Is Good, Remember To Stay In The Moment
It’s always important to do some self-reflection after a breakup and figure out what you could have done better. Yet, while in a new relationship, it’s also crucial to stay in the moment and focus on the person you’re with right now. Not only is it obviously a bad idea to mention your ex while dating someone new – it’s also a bad idea to merely keep thinking about them instead of about the wonderful new person you’re with right now.
6. Don’t Ignore Red Flags Just Because You Like The Person
When we like someone, we often have the unfortunate tendency to ignore red flags. This is not only why victims of domestic violence often stay in abusive relationships way too long, but it’s also why they get into such relationships in the first place.
If you catch a new date trip on a particularly noteworthy red flag – such as lying to you, being rude to others, or talking behind someone’s back – don’t make the mistake of assuming it’s just a one-time thing.
The rule of thumb is – if they do it now, they will probably keep doing it in the future, and if they do it to others, they will probably do it to you too after a while.